Freak City

Notice to all fanged-shoulder-impaired Tarp Masters: There will be no meeting of the minds today at the local Rinse-O-Matic due to flooding. Please bring your stuffed teddy bears to Mac's place for our usual hallabaloo (Santy doesn't read, so don't give her the message.)
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Top Story for Today
No one got hurt during the Stampede of Ages down Main Rdavlane yesterday despite numerous attempts of violence by most of the citizens of Freak City. We will try again next Spring. Don't give up!
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Not-Quite-Top Story
Jeremy Lick Blonkch is sick and tired of all the wretched souls that make up his clientele at 'Cameras, Lipstick, and Bulldozers ARE US' store. In a heart-poking interview, Lick Blonkch spoke of several regulars that truly piss him off. This reporter was able to watch as lots of people gave Lick Blonkch money to buy stuff and he got angrier and angrier. The customers seemed completely unaware of it. When he said,"Get out of my store you ingrate and never return!" One customer looked behind herself as if he was talking to someone else, then she shrugged and left calling, "See you tomorrow!"
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This issue sponsored by:
COWLICK BRAND HAIRGEL

For that natural, saliva-sheen!